Triangle Day
Jul/082
I’ve been thinking about triangles recently.
On reflection, that’s a statement that requires a bit of explanation, so here goes:
Triangles have three sides. (This will probably not shock anyone)
People have three sides.
I’ve been calling the sides mind, body and soul/spirit/heart/personality/emotion (this last one occasionally defies classification). I guess it’s approximately equivalent to the three types of journeys that we suffered through in HSC English – imaginative, physical and inner. I realise now that the concepts of journeys wasn’t awful – far from it. It was the examination and assessment that caused me to dislike that whole Area of Study (and indeed, the entire bloody year).
Anyway, I think that probably three months ago, I wasn’t happy with two of those sides – not so much a triangle as a single point. Of course, the point was pretty large (it refers of course to the mind, which I consider to be my greatest asset) but nonetheless, it was just a point. Over the past three months I’ve developed my physical side, and emotional side. It’s not yet an equilateral triangle, but I’m not done yet.
To finally address the actual subject of this post, a ‘Triangle Day’ is what I’m now calling a day where something good happens for each side of my triangle. Tuesday was a TD.
I learned something at university (well, I attended a lecture, and listened to most of it. I imagine that I learned something.)
I ran around a bit and kicked the footy with Steve and James (despite a spot of dampness!)
Something else happened that was good. I don’t really want to write about it though. I feel like that would be viewing it from an overly objective standpoint, and I still have a great deal of insecurity about this side. It’s almost like writing transforms feelings to facts, and I’m scared that the facts don’t add up to what I feel.
I could be deluded, but I think I’m ok with that delusion at the moment. It’s a rather pleasant one.
12345 Results
Jul/080
I could pretend modesty here… but I’m bloody pleased with these results.
Information Systems Development Methodologies: 75
25 more than I needed to pass that awful, awful subject
Web Services Development: 96
Gotta love bonus marks. I honestly thought I’d done pretty badly in the exam, which turned out to be rather incorrect.
Database Fundamentals: 77
A deserved result, but I somewhat regret not studying properly for the exam.
Applications Programming: 85
I would have been very disappointed with a distinction for this.
Networking Essentials: 88
When we got the exams handed back and I saw the mark that my two hours of study had earned, I didn’t stop grinning for 24 hours.
I’m pretty happy with all of those numbers, but I know that only two of them are accurate representations of my potential. There’s always more work that you could have done, but I got away with a ridiculously small amount of work this semester.
I’ve joked with a few people that I have the best attendance to mark ratio in the university. Playing with some numbers…
A quick guestimate of my attendance percentages:
ISDM: 68% (which was 100% useless)
WSD: 87%
DBF: 63%
AP: 35%
NE: 90%
Mark divided by Attendance:
ISDM: 110
WSD: 111
DBF: 122
AP: 243
NE: 98
Those are much cooler numbers! Utterly meaningless, since I don’t think this metric will catch on… but it amused me for 5 minutes.
Would I have been better off attending more ISDM or DBF lectures? No. My marks may have been better, but I’d be blogging from a psychiatric institution. I feel a lot happier with my results now, actually. 5 subjects down, and my sanity intact :)
Now: Foggy, 21 degrees
Jul/081
Clouded judgement.
Confused thoughts.
Altered priorities.
Easily distracted.
Loss of inhibition.
I wish it was from beer. It’s not.
Kevin can’t tell me what the safe limit is this time.
I feel…
Jul/082
…AWESOME!
Well, that’s not entirely true. I was going to make a blog with those first three words about 15 hours ago, but never quite got around to doing it. Everything still applies, but I’m just a little bit tired. Too tired to claim that I actually feel awesome, anyhow.
Why am I tired? I worked from 10pm to 8:30am in order to provide technical support to something called the iPhone launch. iT was boring. Nothing much happened, which I suppose is actually a very good thing. The entire thing was a rather unique experience – the second in two weeks. It’s been a lot of fun lately, being me.
I just feel that I’ve been living, to a degree which I hadn’t really reached before. Even when I’m getting paranoid and insecure about one thing or another (although to be completely honest, it’s still not one thing or another so much as someone), I embrace the feelings. That sounds a little bit too hippie… I’m just trying to say that highs or lows, it’s excellent to have a little bit of passion in my emotions. After an extra serving of introspection – or as Tom Lehrer would put it, “serving as the Army Liason to the Office of Navel Contemplation” – I feel much more in touch with myself internally.
I’m still not very good at writing about feelings! I’m not really used to thinking about them, come to think about it. I’m loathe to admit it, but I guess this is one of those inner journeys that I spent so much of Year 12 English hating. (That’s not entirely accurate, we did physical journeys. They’re much less interesting.)
That would pretty much sum up what’s happening on the inside, but what about outside? A few days ago there was another excellent occurance. For the first time in several years, I weigh a mere 90kg. Shortly after Christmas I peaked at about 104 (I’m a cricketer… I had to reach the century!). Over the past two months I’ve lost about 10kg, but more importantly I need a few new holes in my belts.
The result is extremely encouraging, but so is the fact that I’ve actually worked hard at something. I’m not tremendously fond of hard work, dedication or perseverance – they’re admirable qualities, but I don’t possess an abundance of them. I survive on brilliance rather than toil (If I do say so myself – but it certainly applies to my studies). Anyway, I have worked hard on my fitness lately. It’s handy to have someone as motivation – that certainly overcame my inertia – but motivation can only get you part of the way. I’ve achieved something, and I’m very pleased with myself.
Over the past few days I’ve done a bit of exercise… and then done a bit more. I managed about twice the amount of cardio at the gym on Wednesday than I’d ever done before, and on Thursday one of my mates was actually shocked at how much thinner I looked. I had thought that the best compliment imaginable would be from her, but to actually hear it from my friend was even better. We’re blokes, we generally don’t say much to each other that isn’t about beer or footy. Ok, that’s a huge and unfair exaggeration, but there’s a tiny portion of truth in it. Ever since then, I’ve felt fantastic. Or awesome. Or fantastic, and awesome.
Squashing the Silence
Jul/080
My blog, such as it is, has been languishing in a sort of trance-like state. The irony is of course that over the past two weeks my life has been more interesting than at any point in recent memory, but all I have to show for it is a password protected blog post.
That’s not likely to change, by the way. It will have to suffice to say that I took a chance a few days ago, and it didn’t turn out precisely as I’d hoped. However, there was still a lot to be pleased about. I’ve learned some things, and some things have been reinforced in my mind. The most prominent thought in the latter category is very simple: friends are awesome. As to the former… I’m slightly braver than I realised.
Similarly to the last post, I’ve found the writing process to be quite difficult. The reason on this occasion is quite different – a sort of pseudo-performance anxiety, I guess I’d call it. James said some very nice things about the way my last post was written – basically, that I have “a way with words”. I was really, truly thrilled to hear that and I almost feel like I have to live up to a standard that I’ve set. That’s not really a bad thing. I don’t live up to every stereotype of the IT student, but I’m certainly no social butterfly, and I’m not always comfortable speaking to people. There’s no small level of reassurance in knowing that even if I can’t always communicate aloud, I have the words to write it out.
I’ve referenced that post several times now, although I guess there’s really no escaping it. It was the preamble to a unique experience. Indeed, it was perhaps the catalyst for that experience. The blog served as a means for me to focus and refine my thoughts; it was the point at which I think I decided to take that chance.
I think I’ll just leave it there. The Wimbledon final is on, and there’s some work I need to do before I go to bed. I’ll try to blog in a few days instead of in a week’s time, but no promises.